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Getting Hitched, Getting Ditched: The Dilemma of Staying Single at Mid-20s

So you are on your mid-20s, everyone you know seems to be married, starting out their own family and seems to be the basis of happiness and fulfillment. You’re on a long term relationship, doesn’t know where you’re headed to and your partner doesn’t seem to make the move. Another situation is, you remain absolutely single, and the right person doesn’t seem to come your way. You feel like your less than complete and feel like you’re working for nothing, but money — or just for the sake of having what you can call a job.

What do you do when you’re on this situation? Does it mean you’re a failure? But before hastily doing something, you might want to go on reading and ask yourself.

Clear Cut Want or Getting into the Bandwagon? Before considering tying the knot, you have to think several times, are you ready to move to the next level or you just want to go with the trend? Are you financially, capable of running a family, or just initially spending on a wedding. Undeniably, a woman’s ultimate turning point is getting married so you might at least want to invest on the ceremonies. Another thing, are you genuinely emotionally ready and capable of handling married life stresses? It’s not as easy as you think, and it’s not always happy ending after the marriage. It’s just a beginning of more responsibilities and adjustments that you have to make.

Have you Considered Your Partner’s Thoughts? Have you tried asking him what are his plans? Or if he says why he doesn’t want to settle yet, have you tried asking him why? Men tend to get scared with the thought of losing their liberty and for women to ask them that, that would add pressure on them. But if you have been together for a while right now, a simple question wouldn’t hurt much, right? Plus, if he can’t seem to give you an answer, then maybe, he doesn’t really want to do it. Quoting Marie Forleo on procrastination which I found also related to this topic, “If you don’t want to schedule it, you probably don’t want to do it.” If this seems to be the case, then you might start to think, are you with the right person, or you’re just hanging up to something that’s going nowhere?

Are You Stable Career-wise? People today tend to differentiate the meaning of earning a lot as compared to achieving a lot. You can earn bucks in any area if you persevere, but the question is, is that what you really want to do? Is it the thing that fulfills your spirit? And mind you, if you get married at this age without fulfilling your career goals, you are much less likely to be able to work on that after marriage. Reason is, your priorities changes, your schedule is completely revised, and you will have another person to consider before making huge decisions. So before getting another baggage, you might as well do everything you ought to do first.

Indeed, marriage is not something to rush into, or treated as an escape to the boredom of being single. You got to feel fulfilled as an individual first, before sharing yourself with another person. I would want to end this post with a quote by Barnett Brickner which goes “Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.”

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Posted by on September 5, 2011 in Relationships

 

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